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On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego.

Online Dating Home / Opposite Sex Channel Welcome to our dating tips page.

None of the breeds she favors fit into a white patent-leather bag. A means margaritas and a few laughs—not at-home colonics. If she does, you can be sure that photographers won't tail you on the way to your Al-Anon meeting while she's gone.

When you take your Lab, Scout, out for a pee in the freezing cold, thank your lucky stars instead of cursing. When she puts on a sheer dress, she actually puts it on over a . Which makes your "Sounds like fun, honey," sound so much more genuine. She can carry a child across a whole entire parking lot without dropping him on his head, since she knows the difference between a child and an accessory. When you go on double dates, you can relax and have fun instead of worrying if she and the other woman are doing coke in the bathroom.

Planning the perfect first date As they say, “first impression is always best.” Here are three ideas to wow your date and make your first impression a lasting one.

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