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” I cared too deeply about my connection to the Jewish people and my Jewish family to make the future of the faith someone else’s problem.

It was my responsibility to preserve Jewish continuity. He thought we could marry and observe our religions’ traditions in our home and raise any children to enjoy ham on Easter and latkes on Hanukkah.

His view of faith as simply good politics might have made religion a nonissue for us, but Judaism to me was about more than faith.

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The only other option that might have satisfied me was to keep our respective religious identities, but agree to raise any children as Jews.

He was not ready to commit to that, not because he had an attachment to Christianity but because he thought it might exclude his family in some way.

*** The man I’d met wasn’t a churchgoer; although he’d grown up in an Episcopalian home where faith and spirituality were important, he believed that faith was essentially a political tool created to maintain order and public health in ancient society.