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Microaggressions are comments or actions that unintentionally alienate or demean a marginalized person or group.

These include, but are not limited to, saying things such as “You’re [insert positive adjective] for a black girl! ” These may seem harmless to some, but they’re actually symptoms of deeper problems rooted in systematic oppressions that black women face daily.

One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.

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While it may be hard for two people from widely different intersections of race and gender to understand each other, it’s not impossible once the more privileged party (in this case, the white guy) is able to recognize their shortcomings and how the intersections of race and gender affect every aspect of a black woman’s life.

A white man must be willing to work toward a better understanding of how race and gender intersect differently for everyone, and he must also be prepared to speak out against the injustices that their partners will endure.

We’ve recently offered suggestions on how people of color can approach their white partner on the issue of race.

And while of course the topic of race should be an ongoing conversation with your significant other, things would go a lot smoother if men — — were able to identify and prevent racial tension from the very beginning.

Are we no longer going against the grain and finally succumbing to the innate intrigue of gravitating towards and attaining something that is different?