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It’s natural that attention shifts to the children, but it’s a good idea to remember why you are together, and have a child together, in the first place.It’s possible to make it work by setting aside a time in the week and asking a relative to mind the children. Invest in the relationship with your partner’s family. Keep yours smooth by remembering birthdays and anniversaries, by butting out of family disputes, and by never forcing your partner into the position of taking sides with you against their mother, father or siblings – those relationships go back a long way.

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Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen.

But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better.

Don’t scream, keep your cool: it makes a big difference.

So often, things can be resolved by learning to listen. When you have kids you adore, find time to be just you alone so you remember and remind each other of who you were before they arrived, who you are now, and who you will be when they are gone.

It can be pretty sexy in bed too – as long as you’re laughing together. No matter how bad things are, give your partner a chance to speak.